It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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