I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im holly from the hills drunk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
