I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
