Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
