are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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