Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
