You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
