watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
