What did we do last night that was yellow?
my shit smells like andre
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
