this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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