no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
