Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
