Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Alive.
So much puke
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
