There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
