there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
