I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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