how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
