we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
