just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
