What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
