I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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