You made me cry and you don't even care
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
