Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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