I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
