Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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