I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
