how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
