I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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