Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
