And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
