You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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