Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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