I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
