i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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