The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
