Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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