As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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