at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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