She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
