I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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