Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
