HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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