At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
