just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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