Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
