Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize