I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
