i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
