I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
