Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
