Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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