wrigley field is MILF paradise
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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