i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
