mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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