You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
