Jerry, you need to find god
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
