If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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