david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
