i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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