you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize